"20 Something"

For most of us who have been blessed to have made it into our 20s, when we reminisce about our two decades spent on Earth, thoughts of multiple insecurities, unfulfilling comparisons to others, and a constant cycle of seeking “belonging” come to mind. The discomfort of these memories often derives from the fact that after 20 years in this world, these issues continue to have relevancy in our present day lives. Sometimes, the power these issues have on us is greater than the mental toll it took years before (even if the issues, themselves, have actually decreased). So, why are we constantly frustrated with ourselves for not eliminating every single flaw in our lives even though it is clear that we’ve made progress? Why are we constantly telling ourselves that we are not where we are supposed to be at this moment in time? Could it be the unchecked boxes on a list that we made 5 years ago? Have the dreams of an ambitious 12 year old boy or girl somehow created a subconscious score keeper that’s timer mentally goes off every once in a while to compel you into believing you are losing at your own life? 

Our 20s is the best decade for high hopes and ambition. It is a time where we are young enough to dream while simultaneously being old enough to pursue these dreams. It is also a time when we are constantly hit with the disappointment of not making every single dream come true; realizing that what we dreamt of isn’t actually what we imagined it would be or want; and understanding that in order to turn a “dream” into a goal, there is an overwhelming amount of work required in the process. With all of these untimely surprises, there’s something else that most 12 years olds don’t really take into consideration. Maybe being in your 20s isn’t just about all the things you promised yourself you would be or do when you were a “grown up”. Maybe being in your 20s is a less valued but still essential time for continuing the course of growing up.

Just in case you are looking at your fully developed and matured body in the mirror and wondering what exactly this means, here are just a few examples of what growth in your 20s should look like:

1. Seeing your closest friends in relationships & feeling happy for them while simultaneously having no desire to jump into one as well.

2. Understanding that some friends are already well-established in their careers while others are still questioning their majors and that is perfectly fine. 

3. Being rational enough to acknowledge that not every disagreement needs to turn into an argument or loss of friendship.

4. ​Accepting change, ESPECIALLY when it means having to let go of a close/childhood friend in order to live a more positive lifestyle.

5. ​Caring less about other people's opinions and more about what makes you happy and will most likely benefit your own future spiritual, physical, or mental state.

6. Basically being content enough with your own life to be happy for others but still ambitious enough to always strive for more for yourself.

​Our 20s is truly the decade for conquering all that we imagined but on our quest, we must also be prepared to tackle unexpected obstacles, explore unforeseen paths, and most importantly, understand that each bump on the road that slows us down is essential to our own story that we tell when we finally reach our destination. Remember, although you are constantly sharing a road or crossing paths with other people, each of us have our own journey and the stops and time it takes for us to reach our own destination won’t be equivalent to the person in the next lane.