What's My Why In Jesus?

​​My faith is usually my strongest suit but as of recently, I found myself asking “WHY?”... Not the notorious “why me?”, but more of that unpopular meaningful “WHY?” It’s the “why?” that’s a necessity to ask because without having one, life goes on without purpose. When you’re baptized as a baby and attend church religiously growing up, the idea of “Christianity” seems just as simple as waking up and brushing your teeth every morning. Church, praying, and repeating certain bible verses becomes just as vital to your routine as showering. As you get older though, you realize that brushing your teeth and showering are more than just routine, but a mandatory means to cleanliness. So, when does our “faith” become more than just a habit for us?

 Although, I have made a miraculous transformation from being the child who struggled to pay attention and not fall asleep during Sunday service to a believer who actively seeks to receive every message possible, I realized that sometimes I need to remember WHY it’s so important to me to believe in the message. My morning prayer for Easter was for God to please refresh me of my why. As great as the message during the church service was, my question still remained. As service came to a close, a final message popped up on the screen. It was a testimony. A member of the church who had struggled for almost 20 years with “gang violence, being on the wrong side of the law, and addiction”, as he put it, began to share his journey of the past 5 to 6 years with us. He explained how becoming a follower of Christ literally transformed his life. He explained how he could feel the hole that was once in his heart being filled and how he doesn’t feel alone anymore. When he shared that becoming a faithful believer of Christ has allowed him to still find hope even in hard times, sea water began to pour from my eyes and I could hear a voice in my head go “AAAHH… There it is… I’ve been there too.”
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 It wasn’t the symbol of the cross or the pastor… or even the scriptures that refreshed me of my necessary “why?” It was the testimony of a man who reminded me that believing in a God who loves me so much, he sent his only son to cleanse me of my sin before I was even a sinner, was worth believing in. Jesus is a name I can sing all day no matter how crazy the tune gets because I believe in the power of it. I love Jesus because Jesus is the greatest love story that’s ever been told. He knew me before my mother’s womb and knew EVERYTHING I was going to be after coming out of it, and still found me worthy of his sacrifice... so I guess my why was answered with another question of “why wouldn’t I want to believe in a love that great?”